Monday, 3 December 2007

“Where's it gonna end
When's it gonna stop...
Or at least slow down so maybe I can get off,
My world's tied to the tickin' of a time clock …”

Given that this semester is almost over, I thought it would be appropriate for me to write an end-of-term blog. I’ll probably write again in the next few weeks (but no promises because finals are starting soon) and maybe during the Christmas break too, but we’ll see. For now, here’s to the end of my first semester at Mt A:


I can’t believe how fast this semester has gone by: It’s already December 3rd (Happy Birthday, Appa!). Sackville is snowy again. Tomorrow’s my last day of class. I have my first final in 5 days. Everyone will be gone in two weeks …

I’ve been in a bit of a daze all day. I’m feeling fairly noncommittal about everything and it feels like I’m just living through the hours, plodding along, with no real purpose or interest. It’s a little depressing, really. It’s probably because there’s nothing left to do but study, now. It’s hard to shift gear from getting work done at the last minute and goofing off the rest of the time to studying for hours upon hours every day. It takes a lot of effort. It’s sort of like getting up out of a really deep, comfy couch: “Do I have to?”, “FINE!!”, big groan, grumpy face, plod, plod, plod …

I discovered that Meal Hall is the perfect place to study but they’ve started playing really terrible Christmas music which, sadly, sounds like the result of a choir of castrati mice being let loose into a recording studio. It’s horrible. That, and the fact that I’ve given up coffee just make it a depressing place to be. Yes, I gave up coffee. Studying for Plant Bio forced me into a frenzy of drinking somewhere around 6 cups of coffee every few hours and I was a bit worried I’d give myself cancer or ulcers at the very least. I miss coffee …

Anyway, finals are around the corner. And then it won’t even be two full weeks left before everyone goes home and I’ll be all alone in Sackville. Well, hopefully not ALL alone. I’m hoping the bureaucratic powers-that-be will have mercy on my brother and my boyfriend and they’ll be able to come be with me. If it doesn’t work out, there are going to be three very sad people on three corners on this gigantic continent feeling miserable about having to be alone on Christmas.

Despite what all the whining in my blogs might lead you to think, though, I’ve had an incredible first semester at Mt A. I’ve made wonderful friends, I’ve learned lots, I’ve done some pretty cool things, I’ve been very drunk and very sad and very happy, I’ve been to some pretty cool concerts, I got to listen to amazing people talk (Yann Martel(!), for example), I’ve been dropped on my head (sorry Nathan. You definitely saw it coming though …), and so much more. And it’s been good. Not always happy or fun, but good. Every moment is one moment closer to everything I’m trying to accomplish and everything I want to be.

I am tired though. I’d really love to just go to sleep. You know what, that’s another problem. No matter what I do, no matter how much I want to, no matter how many times I say, “Ok, I’m going to bed,” I still find myself awake at 12:30 every night and I still find myself cursing my stupidity at 6:30 when I’m trying to wake up.

Sigh. Tonight the studying starts. For now, though, I’m listening to mellow music on the radio (interrupted by horrible Christmas shopping ads. I hate this manic consumerism!!) and taking a bit of a break.

I hope all of you (if you don’t hear from me between now and then) have a wonderful Christmas. I’ll be back with you in January at the very latest …

For now ...